If you ask a stupid question you get a dumb answer
by spincutEdge6272
Summary: It's random questions asked to the DW3 characters. Sort of focused around asking characters about the game. It sucks, in my opinion, so read if you're interested.
1. Default Chapter

If You Ask a Stupid Question, You Get a Stupid Answer  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except things that belong to me. Confused? ____________________________________________________________________  
  
Chapter One - Common Sense  
  
-=-=-  
  
What if the female warrior learned to dance?  
  
FW: La la la! I'm beautiful! *keeps accidentally hitting men's crotches*  
  
Men: Ouch! Oww! My nuts!  
  
Hero: *silently* At least she knows how to dance the nutcracker.  
  
-=-=-  
  
Whatever happened to the toilets?  
  
Spincut: Yup. No one knows where they went.  
  
Hero: *hops around* Yeah. I REALLY need to take a leak.  
  
Male Fighter (MF): And I've got a big piece of poo I need to shoot.  
  
-=-=-  
  
Why is the guy in the town where Vivian is doing powerpuff massages?  
  
Guy: I'm gay! That's why!  
  
Hero: Okay. I even thought I was gonna make sweet love.  
  
Spincut: Make love to a gay?  
  
Hero: HELL NO!  
  
-=-=-  
  
Why did the man want the Change Rod?  
  
Hero: I know! He had a crush on this elf and that elf hated him!  
  
MF: So, he wanted the Change Rod so he could love the elf!  
  
Spincut: But doesn't the Change Rod change you back to a human after a very brief while?  
  
Hero: Yeah. So the man kept making excuses. He kept saying "Hey, I need to go to the john" or "I gotta get something"  
  
MF: Too bad for that lovesick weirdo.  
  
-=-=-  
  
Why do dogs and cats and horses talk?  
  
Hero: Duh. The great Dragon Queen made them talk.  
  
-=-=-  
  
What is it with hobbits and elves? Why is it like LOTR?  
  
Hero: Somehow, you're right. Lord of the Rings is jam-packed with hobbits and elves.  
  
MF: And hobbits do exist in DW.  
  
Hero: Who cares?  
  
-=-=-  
  
Why does the hero suck compared to Ortega?  
  
Hero: Of course. I suck. WAIT JUST A DARN FREAKIN' MINUTE? I DON'T SUCK!  
  
Ortega: I'm so sorry son. I just didn't train you enough.  
  
Hero: *sniff* I.hate.you! *cries*  
  
Ortega: *hugs* It's okay, son.  
  
(Crowd: Awwww.)  
  
-=-=-  
  
What if Lamia notices that the hero isn't a pure hearted person?  
  
Lamia: GRRRRRR. *blows party away*  
  
Hero: Help me!  
  
MF: AAAAAA!!!  
  
Spincut: What? I can't be blown away. I'm the director\author\ruler\person who craves the spotlight.  
  
-=-=-  
  
(Since the characters were blown away, we decided to interview a Metaly)  
  
Spincut: Why can't you be hit easily?  
  
Metaly: blub blub  
  
Spincut: Erm. Why do you fear fire? (bedragon spell kills it)  
  
Metaly: blub blub  
  
Spincut: *starts steaming* Why is it that you aren't affected by spells?  
  
Metaly: blub blub  
  
Spincut: *snaps* THAT IS IT! GET OUTTA HERE!  
  
Metaly: blub blub  
  
Spincut: *kicks Metaly*  
  
Metaly: blubby!  
  
Spincut: Alright. We'll have to stop this for a while, until I can find the characters. See ya!  
  
_________________________________________________________________________  
  
Sorry. It's a lame attempt at humor. I was bored and decided to write this. If you like or hate, tell me about it. If you like, send in questions of your own!  
  
Spincut Kali Edge - I rule. End of discussion. 


	2. Still Asking Dum Questions

If you ask a stupid question, you get a dumb answer  
  
Disclaimer: All things in this fic (excluding Spincut Edge) ain't mine.  
  
Author's Notes (AN): Wow! I can't believe such a sucky (?) attempt at a fic would get reviews that don't flame. Well, thanx for reviewing and I promise to think of dumber things for my Metaly! _________________________________________________________________________  
  
CHAPTER TWO - Still Asking Dumb Questions.  
  
*CHARACTERS!*  
  
Spincut Edge: The guy who asks questions.  
  
Hero: I named him Gail, but I'll just call him Hero. His best trait is he can look at floors.  
  
Male Fighter: Also known as MF, his IQ results came out negative.  
  
Female Warrior: She failed dance lessons 5 times in a row.  
  
Male Dealer: Also known as MD, he's fat. So fat, when he walked past my TV, I missed 3 shows!  
  
Female Dealer: The only character without a negative trait, except for the fact she looks like a fairy.  
  
Lamia: A very awesome legendary bird who hates the Hero.  
  
Ortega: An axe-swinging, fireball-flinging, Zap casting, Hit Points lasting, shield raising, concentration-fazing, wears-a-dorky-helmet son-of- a-gun!  
  
Metaly: A Metaly monster who hates Spincut.  
  
-=-=-  
  
Spincut Edge: Finally they found those characters.  
  
Metaly: blub blub  
  
SE: What? You're still here?  
  
Metaly: blubby! *casts Blaze*  
  
SE: (thinks) I swear that I will play DW3 until I get to level 99 by only killing Metalys.  
  
-=-=-  
  
Why doesn't your mom let you rest when she says:  
  
Mom: "I'll wait until your journey is over."  
  
Hero: Mom, can't I sleep in my room?  
  
Mom: Why, no dear. You musn't!  
  
Hero: C'mon ma, I know I wet the bed 355 times last year, I'll never do it again!  
  
Mom: No.  
  
Hero: Fine! *mumbling* Stupid head.  
  
Mom: What was that? If you don't apologize, I'll throw this in the trash! *raises a bunny-wabbit stuff toy*  
  
Hero: WHAT?!? NOOOOO!!!! NOT MISTER FLUFFY BUNNY!!!  
  
Spincut Edge: Um, we'll just leave them there for a while.  
  
-=-=-  
  
What is it with the graphics design for the Dealers?  
  
MD: Really now, do I look that fat?  
  
MF: Yaaaaa.  
  
MD: *cries* Do you even know how hard it is when you're fat?  
  
MF: Stoooopid. I don't care whether you're fat or you're. Wait a minute! You are fat! HAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!  
  
MD: *still crying* Don't you know how hard it is? I got an asthma because of this?  
  
MF: *Lord of the Flies imitation* SUCKS FOR YOUR ASS-MAR!  
  
MD: WAAAA!!!  
  
(MD runs away and goes to the gym. Suddenly, the door opens and Female Dealer comes in.)  
  
FD: Sorry I'm late!  
  
SE: Whoa! Hey everyone!  
  
Everyone: What?  
  
SE: Announcement! Did someone lose a tooth? Because if you did, the tooth fairy's come to pick it up!  
  
FD: HEY! THAT WASN'T VERY FUNNY!  
  
SE: Moore thinks it's funny. Right Moore?  
  
MF: What? Oh yeah, I remember, yup. It's funny.  
  
FD: Moore?  
  
MF: Yup. My full name is Moore Garrison Vierhierth.  
  
FD: What in the name of all things decent is that?  
  
MF: My name.  
  
FD: Yeah, but it's stooopid.  
  
MF: SAY THAT AGAIN!  
  
SE: Guys, I don't think you should do this, we're straying from the topic here!  
  
FD: Want some of this! *whacks MF with the Abacus weapon thingy*  
  
MF: Ouch! That did it! RAGING BLUE ETERNAL SPIRIT HOLY DRAGON HEAVEN'S BLADE FIST OF FURY!  
  
*Moore throws the RBESHDHBFOF and. it misses*  
  
FD: Ha ha ha! Now that is verrry STOOOPID!  
  
MF: WHY YOU ELFY LITTLE. ELF GIRL!  
  
SE: I'm backing out of this scene.  
  
-=-=-  
  
SE: So, I finally got someone who would at least sit down for at least a few questions.  
  
Ortega: I'm psyched to be here, Spincut! By the way, if you don't mind, I'll wear this helmet.  
  
SE: Okay then, question number. *stares at Ortega's head*  
  
Ortega: Hey, it isn't decent to stare at people!  
  
SE: Oh sorry, my bad. I thought I saw something on top of your head. *rubs eyes* OMG! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT!  
  
Ortega: What?  
  
SE: Oh! Sorry for exploding like that. Here's our question. *stifles laughter* What *stifles laughter* in *stifles laughter* the *opens most very slightly* world *opens mouth to medium range* is *bites lip, then* THAT! *points at helmet while laughing arse off*  
  
Ortega: I knew it! Prepare to die!  
  
SE: AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
(Suddenly, every character appears on the set)  
  
(Spincut Edge runs to a nearby broadcast skybox and looks on as every character fights.)  
  
SE: Wow. Kinda like DW VS FF Fight To The Finish!  
  
Ortega rushes up to Moore and attempts an axe smash, but Moore jabs him in the gut and Ortega falls. Hero runs up to his mother and burns her "Good Housekeeping" mags because Mr. Fluffy Bunny's life ended when Mom put it in the trash bin. Mom jabs Hero in the groin and Hero falls to the ground next to his father. Female Dealer gained the ability to summon elves and summon Navi (Legend of Zelda The Wind Waker) to annoy Mom to death. Moore then runs up to clothesline FD, but she Matrixes out of harm's way. Suddenly.  
  
(Door opens and "Real American" plays)  
  
???: I'm back!  
  
FD: No way.  
  
MF: I don't believe it.  
  
SE: Wow.  
  
Male Dealer: I'm back! *Tries to act like Hulk Hogan* Dealamania's going wild on you! Whatcha gonna do when the 24-inch abacuses run after you? *sings Real American"  
  
Navi: *goes near MD* Hey listen! (x400)  
  
MD: SHADDAP! SHADDAP! SHADDAP! *runs away*  
  
SE: You know what reader *looks at LCD screen*, you'd think that this fic has gone off the main topic, so I apologize very dearly. If you're expecting something at the end, just wait.  
  
*SE makes a cellphone call*  
  
SE: Okay. Here it is.  
  
(Back at the fight scene)  
  
MF: Whoa! That's some huge wind!  
  
FD: Could it be?  
  
Hero: LAMIA!  
  
*Lamia blows away all characters again*  
  
Hero: NOOOO!!!  
  
SE: *Looks at reader again* Okay. That was it. Oh yeah, you're still expecting something.  
  
(SE goes down and enters a wrestling ring that appeared out of nowhere. His opponent is, you guessed it.)  
  
Metaly: blub blub blubby! *casts Blaze*  
  
SE: *looking anime-style burnt* *coughs* okay, you win. *drops*  
  
Metaly: blub blub blubby!  
  
Results: Spincut 1, Metaly 1 _________________________________________________________________________  
  
Okay, I must admit that was an-off chapter, even more lamer than the first mainly because there were only 3-4 questions asked and a whole lot of grueling. Maybe it's better if you review and decide whether you like questions with fight scenes or just plain questions with nut cracking. Anyways, thanx even if you just read this. Rest assured, I'll update! Peace!  
  
NAMES I'M GOING TO GIVE THE CHARACTERS:  
  
Hero: Gail Brandon Erdrick  
  
Ortega: Ortega Von Erdrick  
  
Mom: Elle Marie Erdrick  
  
Spincut Edge: Spincut Kali Edge  
  
Male Fighter: Moore Garrison Vierhierth  
  
Female Warrior: Natkra Curgurl  
  
Male Dealer: Dealamania  
  
Female Dealer: Ruby the Red-Haired Tooth Fairy  
  
Metaly: Metaly  
  
Lamia: Lamia  
  
-=-=-  
  
SPINCUT EDGE -  
"When you fall to the ground, you find yourself in reality: You're the enemy" 


End file.
